The Three Stellar Viewpoints of College

Ah yes, triologies. We all love trilogies, all the more recently because of the much hyped about Men In Black trequel (looks totally bitchin’). In this vein, it is my pleasure to bring you the three shifting views of college.


A strapping young buck with a lack of motivation and an equally mediocre GPA, I said hey, Mr. College Counselor (who shall remain anonymous for the sake of mysteriousness and awesomeness), “what are some weird wacky liberal arts schools that I could get in to in the USA? I don’t really care which one.”  To this, the Dr. House-ish mentor figure to the populous at the school responded “To the forests of Evergreen you shall frolick, my boy.”  And so the story unfolded thusly.

The day before the start of our grand college adventure.

Part 1 

Freshman Year (The Blind Child)

Yipee!! Freedom!! Out of the house at last! La-dee-dippity-doo-dah! Party party party! RAs are next door? PSHH who cares? La-dee-DAHH. Isn’t living in the dorms awesome everyone? Aww i love everyone this is so fun everybody!! Present hedonism FTW!

Good ol’ fashioned freshman fun

Part 2 

Sophomore Year (A Rude Awakening)

Wow, I’m still hungover from last year. Ok time for round 2!    …. right?      *crickets*   *crickets*

Wait… wtf? So this won’t be a replay of last year? Ok then wtf am I going to do if the fiesta and general sense of novelty-induced unity has subsided? Actually think about what it is I’m doing in college? Does this mean I have to critically analyze why I am in the institutionalized higher learning vessel called college? Ummm…

NNNAAAHHHH screw that

*crickets* Yikes. What am I doing here? I guess I’m just here because that’s what they tell ya to do… Ok fuck this I’m going to Brazil.

— 4 months and a new perspective later–


Oh boy.. how am I going to support myself financially if I continue through this educational trajectory? I want to be able to visit places like Brazil more frequently! Ah shit we’re still doing this liberal arts thing! Time to bounce on out of here and get serious then.. I guess.

Part 3

The Return of the Freshman Year / A Foray Into Personal Responisiblity:

Oh wow. SO I decided to stop going to that experimental liberal college off in Neverland ranch, and all of those classes and courses I took mean nothing in terms of transferring. Guess I’m a freshman again, in community college. Wow. This sucks mucho balls. It’s all the course work that I was never given before coupled with little to no social life.

Livin’ in my castle up in the sky overlooking the bay. Starting over could be bitchin’ too


Alas, there is a summarized version of the rollercoaster called the last three years of my life. Now for one more year of community college before we roll with the big dawgs again.. yipee!!! Laa dee dahh… argghh. Remember kids, you can’t sign a prenuptial agreement with your college, so do your research, take your time, and study something which strikes a balance between personal interest and job viability.




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